Written by Arlee Butterfield in memory of his wife Maggie.
I was recently given the book Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb. A dear friend shared it with me, saying it had helped him through some very dark seasons. The title alone perfectly captures how this past year has felt following the passing of my best friend and wife of twenty years, Maggie Jo Butterfield.
After serving in full-time ministry for eighteen years, Maggie and I had finally accepted what felt like our dream position as marriage and family ministers in Cincinnati, Ohio. Prior to that, we had spent a decade serving churches in Tulsa, Oklahoma; Dublin, Ireland; and Springfield, Missouri. During those years, we grew deeply passionate about helping couples build strong marriages and healthy families. The position in Cincinnati felt like a perfect fit, and after moving there in October of 2023, we quickly fell in love with the communities we were part of.
We homeschooled our three daughters, who are now 17, 14, and 9. Maggie had an incredible gift for building community and quickly found wonderful homeschool groups for the girls. She joined the local YMCA, connected with women at our new church, and before long, our entire family was thriving. Life felt full, joyful, and hopeful.
Then July of 2025 brought devastating news. We learned that Maggie’s sister, Katie, had experienced a recurrence of breast cancer that had spread to her lungs. She was diagnosed with metastatic triple-negative breast cancer. Just one month later, my sister Christy was diagnosed with ovarian cancer that had also spread to her lungs. She suffered a collapsed lung and, after fighting for her life over the next three months, passed away just before Thanksgiving.
On October 18, 2024, our dreams were shattered.
After battling a respiratory infection for a week, Maggie still chose to run a 5K—the Queen Bee. She finished strong, and I’m forever grateful that I was there cheering her across the finish line. The following days brought exhaustion and a persistent headache, but Maggie continued caring for our family, homeschooling the girls, cooking meals, and even speaking via Zoom at a women’s midweek service. When her headache worsened and she became sick, we decided to seek medical care.
At urgent care, a nurse encouraged us to get a second opinion and sent us to the ER. Initially, the physician suspected COVID, but when the test came back negative, a CT scan was ordered. That scan changed everything. With a somber voice, the doctor told us Maggie had a six-centimeter tumor in the right temporal region of her brain. She was rushed by ambulance to Jewish Hospital, where further testing confirmed our worst fear: glioblastoma. A second, inoperable tumor was also discovered in her frontal lobe.
Maggie underwent her first surgery a week later. At her follow-up appointment, doctors told us the tumor was extremely aggressive and had already begun regrowing. She would need a second surgery, followed immediately by standard treatment—thirty days of radiation and thirty-six days of oral chemotherapy. Her second surgery took place on December 16.
At that point, my church relieved me of my duties so I could focus fully on my family. Initially, we were overwhelmed by shock and darkness. I took Maggie on a spiritual retreat, and during that time I watched her make a powerful decision—to face this battle with faith, courage, and resilience. That choice shaped the months that followed. Despite everything, she attended our daughters’ Christmas plays and dance performances and continued to live fully.
We made the difficult decision to step away from full-time ministry and move back to Kansas to be closer to her sister Katie. Leaving the life and communities we loved was heartbreaking. Eight months after her diagnosis, on July 4, 2025, I found myself doing my best to cheer Maggie as she crossed her heavenly finish line.
Shortly after Maggie’s diagnosis, her brother Nick sent us a short film titled Rare Enough, which told the story of DJ Stewart’s journey with glioblastoma. We reached out to DJ, and his encouragement and hope were a tremendous gift to Maggie. Through him, we were introduced to Head for the Cure. As we were relocating to Kansas City—near both DJ and Head for the Cure—we had the privilege of meeting him at his first Concert for the Cure event. I became an ambassador, determined to advocate not only for my wife but for all families facing brain cancer. We signed up as a family for the Kansas City Head for the Cure 5K.
The months that followed were filled with precious, treasured memories. We traveled to San Diego for alternative treatment and time with dear friends, took a final family trip to Branson, and celebrated our twentieth anniversary on a cruise—something we had dreamed of since our honeymoon. Maggie was doing well, and a good scan in May gave us hope.
Then, in mid-June, everything changed. New symptoms appeared, and despite early scans showing nothing alarming, her condition worsened. An MRI revealed a tumor on her brain stem. Two weeks later, surrounded by family at home, Maggie took her final breath as I held her hand.
More than 500 friends and family attended her celebration of life. People came from all over the country—and even from Ireland and England—to honor her. Time and again, people shared how Maggie made them feel seen, known, and loved, as though they were her closest friend.
Though I had always hoped to walk the Head for the Cure 5K with Maggie by my side, this has become my way to honor her legacy. In our first year, more than forty friends and family joined our team, and I hope that number will grow to over one hundred in 2026 as we continue to support Katie and all those fighting this disease.
I would not wish this journey on anyone, but I am committed to being an ambassador for families and fighters facing brain cancer. I am deeply grateful for those who have loved and supported my family through our darkest hours—you have truly been the hands and feet of hope.
Most of all, I want to honor our three incredible daughters. They have faced unimaginable loss with faith and resilience, are thriving in their new schools, and excelling academically and athletically. Our oldest will graduate in May and plans to attend college next year. I could not be more proud of them. We are doing our best to create new dreams and desire to live to honor Maggie’s legacy.